My goodness, it's been over a month!

The lack of updates and writing lately has been due to an extreme lack of quality in my material. I'm an odd duck, plain and simple. I write everyday, but hardly any of it is more than bitch sessions and half-finished poems or lyrics.

I've mentioned it before, but to really get my point across, writing is my release. My scribbles are the equivalent of other people's punching of pillows, therapy sessions, crying on a friend's shoulder, screaming at the top of their lungs and even cutting. It allows me to put into words (either being blunt and direct or in metaphors and cryptic stories) my frustrations, thoughts, and pain. It gives me an audience who will forever be on my side and who, at the same time, are completely disposable. If I ever feel that they have turned on me, I can easily cross them out, crush them and toss them away or even force them to turn away and write behind their backs.

Unfortunately, lately I've been struggling to come up with anything that is worthwhile of sharing. It's mostly been me pissing and moaning about "friends" and their uncanny ability to seem more and more ignorant everyday. Notice I put them in quotes because as far as I'm concerned, they barely classify as humans because of their absolutely disturbing view of themselves. You must understand that they're Christians (we'll go with Jesus freaks though because it offends them to no end) and so of course they believe that everything fun is a sin and wrong, therefor they avoid it all.

Here's where I must apologize because after reading over what I've written below this, it's gonna be a bitch session, haha. Read ahead if you're not easily bored. ;)

They go out of their way to point out what they don't believe and point out how others are wrong or sick or sinners. They brag of not drinking or doing drugs or having sex or doing anything that involves fun, haha. I'll be completely honest, a couple years ago I was in a militant straight edge phase (as seen in some of my earliest posts). But, I have good reasons, for one, I'd been watching a few friends spiraling downward and suffering through addictions. Also, I had a run-in with a few former friends who had become a mere shell of their former selves and it scared me to death that it would become of my closest loved ones. Also I was depressed and at a low point emotionally, so any little thing that set me off was going to be shunned, haha.

Nowadays, I don't drink or do any recreational drugs, I have however smoked a few cigars with my younger brother, but just because it was more of a brotherly bonding session and it put him at ease.

But yes, the other giant part that rounds out their shunned "sinners" is homosexuals. I won't go off on it now, but let me just write this, for an all powerful and loving creator, he sure hates a lot of people because they lead their own lifestyles. And a quote of course, haha:
"We must question the story logic of having an all-knowing all-powerful God, who creates faulty Humans, and then blames them for his own mistakes." -Gene Roddenberry
--END RANT---

But yeah, all I've been writing lately is rants about how I hate people, etc., haha But this is already too much for one entry, but fear not because right above this, there is a new fresh fun entry just for you. :D

Be right back,

Love always,
Geoff
:]