"The Straight Edge Hero"

I've been thinking a lot about it lately, and since I just realized tonight that I've never fully explained it, I feel it's time to explain my original intentions for this blog and it's title. So kick back (but not too far so you can't read this) and relax and read and enjoy! :)

I struggled with anxiety even at a very young age. When I was first put in pre-school about nineteen years ago, I suffered from severe social anxiety. Ever since, I've struggled with it constantly.
As an attempt to escape the pain and terror of reality, I'd close my eyes and imagine a world where I was the person who I truly wanted to be. From the age of four on, I'd picture myself as this bad-ass kid who stood up to his fears, crossed lines to fight for his beliefs and stand up to the ones who'd try to break him down. It wasn't until I was in fifth grade that I finally thought in depth about who he really is and I ended up creating a whole persona for this alter-ego/entity I'd created.
*Enter Nick Murphiez*
Nick is exactly like me, but with the personality and traits that I could only dream of having as well. He has the physical strength, charisma, and charm as my younger brother, the intelligence and ability to retain knowledge in such a vast array of subjects like my older brother, the dedication and passion for life that my parents possess, the wisdom and wit of my grandparents and the drive, motivation and never-take-"no"-for-an-answer fighting spirit that my best friend has always put forth. Nick has the quick wit and ability to come up with solutions to even the most difficult of scenarios... like MacGuyer times infinity. He never backs down, never says never and never gives up. He is the Straight Edge Hero, free in all the ways I am not, kind of like my own Tyler Durden, except I've never taken on that persona... (at least not that I'm aware of so far, haha)

In this blog, I was originally going to just share stories of what he had done in the alternate universe that he lived in, which always paralleled ours, yet he had the balls to do what/who-*wink* I couldn't. In fact, one of the first scenarios I'd ever fully played out in my head was him asking out a girl that I was hardcore crushing on in fifth grade. Right after, I even wrote up a love note (of what he'd have written) on the back of one of my math tests to give to her. That was one of my first ever heart-felt poems complete with silly metaphors and cryptic writings (possibly the conception of my writing style). Sadly I never gave it to her because I was not him, so I didn't have the guts, haha. I actually got into trouble with my teacher and parents because my parents were concerned that I was hiding a bad grade and that I wouldn't admit to needing extra help in my studies, while my teacher was accusing me of trying to get extra attention from my parents, haha. I fixed the situation after seeing what Nick was doing to deal with it and taking a bit of his ingenuity, I applied it to real life: I snagged a new blank copy of the test and rewrote all the answers the exact same way, made all the corrections my teacher made, graded it and then handed it to my parents, problem solved. :)

Now you're probably thinking I'm some schizo-nutball or something, which may very well be true, but he does help me. I guess it's like my conscience personified in my mind, haha. Ok, that even sounded insane to me, but whatever, haha... Moving on... So I, being the watered-down shell of Nick, have dubbed myself the Straight Edge Zero, and these are my silly life stories, kinda-ish, haha. Nick was also the main character in my infamous shelved graphic novel.

Well there ya go, a little bit of insight on how insane I really am, haha. Glad you read along, thanks! :)

I'll end with what my current obsessions and going-ons in life...

I'm addicted to Arizona Arnold Palmer Half & Half (Half Iced Tea and Half Lemonade), Double Stuf Halloween Oreos, chocolate milk, cinnamon raisin toast (with butter and a little bit of grape jelly on top), cinnamon raisin bagels (with a bit of cream cheese on top), McDonald's double cheeseburgers and crispy chipotle BBQ chicken snack wraps, pineapple soda, black cherry soda, fruit flavored Mentos, and Ramen noodles.

I've been immersing myself in the original Star Wars trilogy (again), all things Kevin Smith, Batman comics, video games, buying copious amounts of Blu-ray movies as well as standard DVDs, the new Alice in Chains album Black Gives Way to Blue (Elton frickin' John plays piano on the title track), Pearl Jam's Backspacer album, and the wonderful world of twitter.

Also, go see Zombieland, it's amazing!


So I will now take my leave of absence for the time being, but do not fear, I shall return soon, possibly with something worth reading. ;)

Love always and forever and ever,
Geoff
:]


One last note - if you're gonna be in the Las Vegas, NV area on the 21st of November, please please please go check out the film festival and more specifically, the short film: Catching On: The Day the World Turned Gay. Not only is it my big screen debut (ok, so I'm not a main character, but I do get a bit of screen time! :D), but it's also a great movie. Funny stuff with a great message:
Details of 'Catching On' at the NV Film Festival
I'll even go this far, if you pay and go see the movie, the next time you're in my neck of the woods, I'll take you out for dinner. Plus I'll love you forever, I promise. :)