Not much, but it's something.

Just a small piece I wrote a little while ago. Nothing special, but it's something.

I'd give you a gun,
but I know you'd be scared...
I'll do this myself...
So your life is spared...
Before you leave, I'll tell you a story
I'll point out the stars and tell of their glory,
I'll make a comparison between love and the moon,
Then she'll run along, I lie: " It'll be over soon",
As shes leaves, and disappears from sight,
The tears I'd fought back with all of my might,
cascade down my face as I prepared to fight.
I took out my knife and buried the blade,
fell to the ground and that's where I laid,
I prayed I would die, and prayed and prayed.
I could picture my grave, but no headstone, no flowers...
I opened my eyes for the first time in hours,
sat straight up and looked around
threw off the covers while I felt my heart pound
I fell to my knees and started to cry,
Looked out my window and towards the sky.
I screamed and I cried and then wiped my eyes.
To most it'd be an awful nightmare of course.
But to me, it's a happy dream, for my life is far worse.
---

I've been trying to take my mind off of everything and try to find my reason to keep going. I'm just searching for that one small bit of hope, that one reason to keep going, no matter how small it is....I can only hope I find it soon.

--

"I can’t face myself when I wake up
And look inside a mirror
I’m so ashamed of that thing
I suppose I’ll let it go
Until I have something more to say for me
I’m so afraid of defeat
And I’m out of reasons to believe in me
I’m out of trying to defy

I’m so afraid of the gift you give me
I don’t belong here and I’m not well
I’m so ashamed of the lie I’m living
Right on the wrong side of it all

Hold me now I need to feel complete
Like I matter to the one I need..."

- "The Gift" by Seether